IT'S MAH BURFDAY!!!

IT'S MAH BURFDAY TODAY!!
HURRAY FUR MEH!

MOVIE: Fantastic 4 + script re-write

Overall Fantastic 4 was a fun super hero movie with entertaining interplay between the idiosyncratic individuals. Terrific computer graphics (let down slightly on Mr. Fantastic's effects), very good (although not challenging) performances from all the lead charachters and a decent story line made for an enoyable package. However this good movie, could easily have been a great comic book movie along side Spiderman 2 but for a few gaping plotholes in the script that could have easily been ironed out. Don't believe me? Well this is how I would have done it...
Oh did I mention Jessica Alba is hot? :D

***spoiler warning***

Fantastic 4 - Script Re-Write - Julian Stockwell

Problems
Ben Grimm's charachter development stops dead when he re-enters the machine.
The machine is a deus ex machina.
Doom has no motivation.

Early Development
Dr. Doom (Doom) while spurned by Susan Storm (Susan) instead turns his attention to the other's, particularly Ben Grimm (Ben). Doom's 'symptom', instead of revealing metal beneath as his skin, becomes a hideous degenerative skin disease that leaves his flesh and muscle bare. This gives him more empathy to Ben's condition, something he plays on to win him over.

Doom's powers are not as strong as the other's because he was shielded in the base. He longs for more power, not only of them, but as much as possible - as he confides to his assistant.

Reed is wracked with guilt, but despite his efforts, confides to Susan that he cannot reverse their powers. Johnny is in the room and makes a wise crack that was all he was hoping to hear. But Susan and Reed realise that telling Ben will be difficult (Staring at one another, Johnny walking off elated in background).

Doom access' Reeds plans, grudginly admits his genius, and builds his own version stronger and larger. He tries the machine on himself but it doesn't work. He believes that the machine will transfer the power of one of the other heroes to him, so he sets about getting one. He reveals to Ben that he has seen Reed's plans and that the machine is complete.

When Ben demand's to know the progress on the machine, Reed tells him that it won't work (not enough power, can't replicate the powers in thestorm). Ben fights Reed then storm's off. Doom's sillouhette watches from the upper level.


Doom: (slowly) I know what you're going through Ben... (pulls back bandage to reveal his diseased flesh)
Ben's eyes widen and he stops scowling at Doom. Then remember's himself.
Ben: (grunts) At least you're not like that all over, all the time... Doom: (interrupting) not yet... my Doctor's say that its spreading. It's only a matter of time. Before I... become...
Pause.
Ben: A freak like me.
Pause. Ben and Doom share a moment, staring into their food. Ben is convinced now. Doom looks up slightly to see Ben's expression and a wicked smile creeps into his face. Then he turns serious again.
Doom: There could be a way Ben... but I'll need your help.

Doom then plays Reed in his depression, and offers him the Von Doom resources to perfect the machine. Reed protests that the power needed is unreplicatable in a safe form. But Doom assures him it can be done, and Reed agrees to help.

[cut] Doom appears as Dr. Doom but does not reveal his name. He performs several crimes to gain items to power his super machine - crystals, diamonds, fuel cells, nuclear material etc. Ben does not get the bad publicity, although Susan and Reed notice him in the corner of a News shot of one of Doom's rampages. [? makes Doom more villianous, but Doom's eventual transformation less climactic - cut]

Reed and Susan figure out that Doom's plan is to reverse the machine on himself, and gain even more power, putting the city at risk. Reed and Susan confront Ben with this information, who is now staying at Doom's mansion. Ben gets angry and demands they leave. On their way out, and beyond Ben's sight. Doom attacks Reed and Susan who flee. They use their powers together in an intimate fashion, Reed wraps his body around Susan to lift them to safety, while she creates a forcefield around them. One-liner: Is that your leg?

Ben is now suspicious and asks Doom, who win's him over again (his face is now half deteriorated, ala Phantom of the Opera).

As the machine nears completion, Reed, Susan and Johnny prepare to stop Doom and attack the mansion. Doom defeats all but Susan in the manner he does in the film.

The machine (now a doomsday weapon) must be larger than in the film, with an upper and lower level instead of 2 modules. The upper module is where the energy phenomenon is created, so that Doom stands above his enemies. The lower is where he directs Ben to stand.

As Ben is about to start the machine, Susan appears and reveals the frozen Reed (locked in a side compartment freezing). Doom beckons Ben to enter the machine, and Ben must choose to save his friends or save himself. Ben turns to destroy the machine, but Doom is faster and knocks him aside, starts the machine and enters.

Johnny reappears through the window, destroys the machine and thaw's out Reed (how cool!). The heroes think they are victorius but Doom's maniacal laughter emerges from the wreckage of the machine. His full face is revealed, now entirely distorted from the machine, he grasps his mask and don's his hood.

Final battle should be twice as long, starting in the building penthouse, knocks Johnny and Susan out the window, fights Ben and Reed (in similar sequence) through the progressive floors of the building till they are all on the street. Instead of an ordinary corner, the battle takes place in Times Square, with more spectators and finishes with the heroes around doom (similar) and their visage's larger than life on the massive tv screen overhead.

I think this script solves the problems above, Ben is left with a real choice as to where his loyalty lies, and importantly does not still have the option at the end of the movie (which he spurns and is ridiculous). Doom has clear motivation, and his thirst for power is more visible and appreciated. Susan and Reed's interaction in their penultimate battle with Doom helps progress the romantic story line too. Johnny has the least charachter development, but he is after all the most two dimensional charachter, but the coolest to offset that ;)

The Big Ad!

Check it out - awesome! almost makes me want to buy a beer - here

angel and baby 

DVD Reviews3: July

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zizzou - Bill Murray, Wes Anderson, Ensemble
Comedy - A gem from Wes Anderson (Royal Tenenbaums) about a fictional eccentric oceanographer documentary filmmaker and the many colourful charachters he is surrounded by. Fantastic! 5 stars!

Wimbledon - Paul Bettany, Kirsten Dunst
Romance - This film has nothing to do with tennis. It is a chick flick with little going for it. Paul Bettany is handsome? But nothing terrible against it apart from the above. 2 stars

Million Dollar Baby - Hillary Swank, Clint Eastwood
Drama - Clint Eastwood is a master filmmaker. He also composed the (primitive) score, but it suits this subtle though powerful story. Hillary Swank is deserving of Best Actress and Morgan Freeman is the rock the 2 mains play off. 4 stars

Friday Night Lights - Billy Bob Thornton
Sports Drama - A tale of under class strugle in the same vein as 8 Mile. Stirring performances in an uncommon tale of effort and achievement. A perfect complement to the professional gridiron story in Any Given Sunday. 4 stars

Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Nicholas Cage, Penelope Cruz
Drama, Romance, War- A touching story but let down by some poor performances. Christian Bale is not at his best, and Cage's accent is appaling and distracting. Cruz performs well in one of her first western films alongside an impressive austere John Hurt. Not as powerful or ultimately as satisfying as John Madden's best film Shakespeare in Love. 2.5 stars

Zatoichi - Beat/Takeshi Kitano
Samurai - Based on the japanese legend of the blind swordsman (there are legions of zatoichi films), this incarnation by Takeshi brings with it his distinct flavour of direction - quiet with bursts of sudden and extreme violence. Computerised blood and sword effects are not up to hollywood standard, and take away from the usual dark stmosphere he normally creates so well. 2.5 stars

Around The World in 80 Days - Jacky Chan
Action Comedy - A chinese french butler (Chan) accompanies Phileas Fogg around the world. Preposterous, but by the end picks up speed and becomes enjoyable. By no means a classic. 2 stars

Punch Drunk Love - Adam Sandler, Emily Watson
Drama Romance - Adam Sandler again shows what he can do when he doesn't resort to idiot screaming. A very odd romance that follows neurotic sociopath (sandler) as he embarks on the relationship with a sinister extortion subplot. Does not tie up all its loose ends, which is a style of realistic relationship tale that I am fond of. Excellent direction, esp with clever bold stage play lighting, won P.T. Anderson Best Director at Canne. 3.5 stars

The Punisher - nobody, John Travolta
Action Comicbook - This movie sucks. A nobody as the punisher, replete with crappy one liners, massive plot holes and unrealistic reactions drive the main charachters. Rebecca Romjin Stamos plays the hot neighbour well enoguh, but this movie blew. 1 star

Constantine - Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz
Action Comicbook - Significantly altered from the original comic book (Hellraser?) but in my opinion, modernisation and 'real-isation' of stolid charachters for translation to film is what has made so many of the recent plethora of comic book translations great successes'. Good performances from the mains, excellent production, and a story that stays tight and narrow without taking it self over seriously nor so light hearted that the plot becomes a farce. Oh and wings are fkin cool. I often draw angelic winged figures. 3.5 stars

Beyond Borders - Angelina Jolie, Clive Owen
Drama - I expected more from veteran director Martin Campbell (Goldeneye, Mask of Zorro), but to be fair those movies do not require the poignant and precise touch that this film was ultimately going to rely on. Jolie (a UN ambassador) clearly put heart into this role, and Owen was adequate as the blunt doctor (truly Clive Owen has all the subtle graces of a sledge hammer). Showing a sometimes grisly realism of world humanitarian crises, the subject is dealt with too strightforward and fails to raise the emotional tempo of the audience for what could have been a very powerful climactic ending. An out of place score did not help matters. 2.5 stars

MOVIE: Sin City

This was a pretty cool movie. Certainly has it's own thing going.

Not having read the graphic novels (that word annoys me but is used appropriately here since there is little 'comic' about the story) it is obvious the director is not trying to change the look of the art. Robert Rodriguez was paid to direct but creator and artist Frank Miller is also credited, as is Rodriguez' friend Quentin Tarantino. The effect of the combination is palpable - disjointed storyline ala tarantino, with graphic styling courtesy of miller, and stylised hyper realistic action by rodriguez.

The violence is not to everyone's liking, but Rodriguez hides the worst of it in a Hitchcock-esque manner with shadows, hyper realistic colours, inverses and silhouettes - that said he also highlights it with the same techniques, and after holding back for a chain of shots, reveals the gore in short sharp bursts.

Stars Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke and Clive Owen as the principle charachters, and only Clive Owen slightly disappoints when held next to the performances of the others. Ensemble charachters boast Jessica Alba (wow), Brittany Murphy (who I normally don't like much), Rosario Dawson, Benecio Del Toro, Elijah Woods (who disappointed but a casting/direction fault), Josh Hartnett (not in the movie enough alas) and Michael Madsen (easily the worst charachter and performance). Not many hey? And there are more who don't really have names yet (or ever).

Production levels are bye and large excellent as you would expect all though surprisingly there are a few glaring continuity errors and sometimes the techniques used to enchance the highly stylised graphical effects appear out of place in scenes that the director opts to play it straight and subtle. In particular make up effects (scaring, bandages and prosthesis) will jump out of their correct positions. While in a normal movie these would go unnoticed, the bold highlighted effects in this movie intentionally attract extra attention and continuity should have been a higher priority.

Inner monologue narration reveals the story of the principle charachter arcs, however the ultimate movie is one of situation, not conflict/resolution, which might leave the viewer unsatisfied or whetted for more. In my case it was the former but that is pure opinion. Chances are that I am in the minority and when the sequel (rumoured to be in production) is released, I'll probably have the ticket stub to show I was back for more with the rest.

Defintely has it's own thing goin.

3.5 stars

small stars

Back to school

As usual, I am off to a flying start.
7.00am: Hit snooze button.
7.30am: Tell mum I have no class today (not a lie if you don't actually know).
8.00am: Hear mum leave the house, must be taking the bus.
9.30am: Instead of attending appointment with specialist, am sleeping.
10.30am: Look at clock and inwardly exclaim a profanity. Ring doctor's office with no luck.
11.00am: Take weekly shower. Ring doctor who squeezes me in.
12:30am: Back at home. Luncheon of noodles and short soup - that makes it a long short soup. Commence soccer team admin for game on Thursday - emails are fun. Eventually enrol in some more subjects suddenly realising it has been over a year since I have attended an economics class and quite likely no longer have any knowledge of that subject. Finished and press "View Timetable"...
1:50pm: I have class in 10 mins. Exclaim another profanity.
2:20pm: Arrive at University. Oh look they've turned this car park into a building. Guess I won't be parking here today.
2:25pm: Have attatched parking permit that I cleverly ordered over the internet in the precious week, I stroll to class feeling rather dapper in a short sleeve blue checkered/plait shirt under my navy country road jumper, and sporting airy cotton kahaki trousers over my light tan suede loafers with matching socks. My hair is caught in a stubby pony tail with a rubber band (couldn't find my hair tie for the life of me). Plain steel studs and my steel/gold watch round out my accessories. Now that the important things have been attended to... back to school!

It's not me... it's you!

HAHAHAHha!
Laughed my head off when I saw this on tv!
Found a really good quality version hosted at Mena Suvari Fan - here
It's at the very bottom - Continental Sauces Ad.

Wow Cow Episode 1

WoW Cows: Episode 1! I hope you enjoy! Hopefully I will keep producing them
[Wow humour, World of Warcraft Comic]

Earth Pwns Comet!

A funny lil comic take on Nasa's Deep Impact operation that was conducted successfuly a few days ago.

Earth Pwns Comet!

New Blog Template!

I finally got around to customising the graphics of my blogpage the last 2 days. The blue sand motif was created from scratch in photoshop and the white sand and crosshatched version derived from that. For the buttons I used the existing button gifs from the template and edited them with my preferred colour scheme. However I was unable to make them properly transparant as Hello doesn't upload gif or png files, and when I successfully loaded those formats it converted them to jpg anyway. My solution was to back the pictures with the background I knew they would be over to create a smooth mesh. Later I might add some more bells and whistles like a chat board and maybe even an audio intro :D

Here's a sketch dump of my drawing session last night. None are terribly good, although I was quite happy with the Jessica Biel portrait as it actually looks like her! All these pics are freehand copies from pictures. I was experimenting previously with 'shape' drawing where you sketch the body in shapes (ovals and cylinders, then redraw in increased detail. I can't draw that way. Instead my method is to start with an element or an outline and fill in or out as I please. Because of this, I often put things in the wrong places or in the wrong proportions. Computer editing helps me alleviate the problems I create. Purely digital drawing with a tablet might suit me... 

DVD Reviews2: June-July

Blade Trinity - Wesley Snipes, Jessica Biel
Action - Comic Book Horror. Jessica Biel is hot. +3 stars. But she's not in the first 30 mins. -1 star. 2 stars

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - Special Extended Edition
Action, Epic. Awesome. Although disappointingly did not include the Retaking of the Shire which I had hoped would make it. 4 stars

Leaving Las Vegas - Nicolas Cage, Elizabeth Shue
Drama. The relationship between a hooker and an alcoholic. Portrait of despairing lives. Good performances, although I wasn't really in the mood for this movie when I watched it. 2.5 stars.

I Heart Huckabees - Jason Schwartzman, Jude Law, Mark Wahlberg, Ensemble
Drama, Comedy. An odd 'clever' script, which enjoys bursting into philosophical monologues. A 'meaning of life' movie that predicatably gives no real viewpoint. Talented cast. 2.5 stars

Equilibrium - Christian Bale
Action, SciFi. Sean Bean also collected a pay check for this flick. A writer-director "I'm awesome look at me" movie, alas it isn't terribly clever. An interesting idea that went too far (e.g. got made) 1 star.

50 First Dates - Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore
Romantic Comedy. This was a darling of a movie. Now one of my fave Rom-Com's. 4.5 stars.

Blogging The Fifth Nail

This shit is fucked up.
The blog of a sex felon up to the point where he alledgedly comitted murder and kidnapping.

Seriously don't look if this type of thing will freak you out.

Blogging The Fifth Nail

saddam and uday - write the script! 

I'm gonna do it this time. It's gonna be different...

from the last million times I said I was gonna make a comic and produce it and get it one the web then do it again at least once... this time!
In the mean time here is about 75% of enough art to make an awesome comic. Somone write a script for the charachters then I'll draw the additional art and YOU the lucky winner gets a writing credit!!

DVD Reviews1: June

The Big Lebowsky - The Coen Brothers
Comedy - black and witty. Good movie, one of their best. On par with Oh Brother Where Art Thou. An entertaining and unorthodox comedy with a great cast that leaves loose ends where it pleases. 3.5 stars

Ladder 49 - John Travolta, Joaquin Phoenix
Action - hollywood hero flick. So mainstream you don't need a brain to digest it. Suprising ending if only for it's minimal deviation from the processed cheese of the previous hour. Not as good as Backdraft. 2 stars.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Johnny Depp
Comedy - 1971 drug culture. Fantastic performance from Depp, incredible script, and fast uncompromising direction from Terry Gilliam. A unique film. Worthy of the moniker, "Classic". 4.5 stars!

The Whole 10 Yards - Bruce Willis
Comedy - tv actors... Matthew Perry is also in this terrible movie. I recall the first was funny, seeing the sequel, I can't for the life of me remember or imagine how. 1 star.

Saw - James Wan
Horror, Thriller. Suprise box office hit for low budget horror flick by asian boy from melbourne. Refreshing script and the movie doesn't resort to too many of the horror genre cliches. Some gore, but keeps the violence in the story where it should be. 2.5 stars.

Spanglish - Adam Sandler, Pas Vega
Romantic Comedy, Drama. Don't be turned off by Sandler's presence, keeps his "Sandler screaming" to a minimum, but importantly it is not a slapstick/cheap laugh comedy and he delivers his drama well. A better than average romantic comedy without being cliched. 3.5 Stars

Reign of Fire - Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale
Action, Fantasy. Terrible. Good idea, poor direction, lack of location, half a script. Bale delivers what he can, McConaughey's charachter has the depth of a playing card. English setting was illconcieved and underutilised. 1.5 stars.

House of Flying Daggers - Zhang Zimou
Action - Martial Art, Drama. Not as pretty as Crouching Tiger, not as interesting as Hero. Carves out a small niche as an 'intimate' martial arts film with a love story as the focus. Terrific production values, but not a terrific film. 2.5 stars.

Finding Neverland - Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet
Drama, Romance. An entertaining story with good performances. But the movie does not deliver enough to warrant any particular praise. Depp, although Oscar nominated for the role, does not excel as the lead. 2.5 stars.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow
Action, Sci-Fi. Angelina Jolie is 3rd billed, but only participates for 10 minutes. A comic book on film. Zero charachter development. Computer graphics are over simplified regardless of director's intention. The full screen glow treatment of the footage from beginning to end doesn't leave time for the eyes to take a break and although pretty in stills, becomes an annoyance, leaving the movie unnecessarily washed out, over exposed and out of focus. 2 stars.

The Right Stuff - ensemble
Drama, historical - space race. Winner of 4 academy awards (sound and technical) and a very good film that not everyone will enjoy. An indulgent docu-film with a superb ensemble cast whose strong performances complement one another. 3 stars.

Ray - Jamie Foxx
Drama - musical biopic. Foxx is an outstanding actor and rightfully won the big Oscar. An excellent script intertwines the people, the events and the music that shaped Ray Charles in an unforced and gripping movie. No additional knowledge is needed to fully enjoy the film unlike the Ali biopic. 4 stars

Garden State - Zach Braff, Natalie Portman
Drama, Comedy. Not a romantic comedy and starts very bleakly. Well paced progression through the movie is let down by a rushed and unconvincing final quarter of the film. An entertaining although undistinguished coming of age/self-discovery drama. Excellent soundtrack. 2.5 stars

Steam Boy - Anime
Anime, Childrens Adventure. The most expensive anime ever does little visually to deserve that title. Uninspiring PG script. Seems made specifically to ride in the wake of Spirited Away's success by repeating the formula - minus the endearing fantasy and imagination of Miyazaki's work. 2 stars.

Meet the Fockers - Ben Stiller, Robert DeNiro
Comedy, Drama. An entertaining sequel. Like most, not as fresh as the first but certainly has its own charming moments. Additional talent of Hoffman and Streisand enjoy their roles and it shows in the chemisty between all the leads. 2.5 stars

Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Jim Carrey
Adventure, Children. Jim Carrey delivers in the multiple guises of Count Olaf and young Aussie actress Emily Browning shines. As well made as Harry Potter and with as entertaining a plot inherited from the published franchise. 3 stars.

Closer - Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Clive Owen
Drama. Based on a play, and only adequately adapated to the screen. The actors all give solid performances, and a haunting soundtrack and intelligent subtle direction helps add nuance to the intimate unfolding of the drama. 3.5 stars.

Secret Window - Johnny Depp
Thriller - Stephen King. Not much can be said for this movie. Poorly directed in it's lack thereof. Depp does not excite, scare, nor convince. Supporting charachters are nobodies worth nothing and they give what you expect. May appeal to fans of the author. 1.5 stars.