MOVIE: Fantastic 4 + script re-write

Overall Fantastic 4 was a fun super hero movie with entertaining interplay between the idiosyncratic individuals. Terrific computer graphics (let down slightly on Mr. Fantastic's effects), very good (although not challenging) performances from all the lead charachters and a decent story line made for an enoyable package. However this good movie, could easily have been a great comic book movie along side Spiderman 2 but for a few gaping plotholes in the script that could have easily been ironed out. Don't believe me? Well this is how I would have done it...
Oh did I mention Jessica Alba is hot? :D

***spoiler warning***

Fantastic 4 - Script Re-Write - Julian Stockwell

Problems
Ben Grimm's charachter development stops dead when he re-enters the machine.
The machine is a deus ex machina.
Doom has no motivation.

Early Development
Dr. Doom (Doom) while spurned by Susan Storm (Susan) instead turns his attention to the other's, particularly Ben Grimm (Ben). Doom's 'symptom', instead of revealing metal beneath as his skin, becomes a hideous degenerative skin disease that leaves his flesh and muscle bare. This gives him more empathy to Ben's condition, something he plays on to win him over.

Doom's powers are not as strong as the other's because he was shielded in the base. He longs for more power, not only of them, but as much as possible - as he confides to his assistant.

Reed is wracked with guilt, but despite his efforts, confides to Susan that he cannot reverse their powers. Johnny is in the room and makes a wise crack that was all he was hoping to hear. But Susan and Reed realise that telling Ben will be difficult (Staring at one another, Johnny walking off elated in background).

Doom access' Reeds plans, grudginly admits his genius, and builds his own version stronger and larger. He tries the machine on himself but it doesn't work. He believes that the machine will transfer the power of one of the other heroes to him, so he sets about getting one. He reveals to Ben that he has seen Reed's plans and that the machine is complete.

When Ben demand's to know the progress on the machine, Reed tells him that it won't work (not enough power, can't replicate the powers in thestorm). Ben fights Reed then storm's off. Doom's sillouhette watches from the upper level.


Doom: (slowly) I know what you're going through Ben... (pulls back bandage to reveal his diseased flesh)
Ben's eyes widen and he stops scowling at Doom. Then remember's himself.
Ben: (grunts) At least you're not like that all over, all the time... Doom: (interrupting) not yet... my Doctor's say that its spreading. It's only a matter of time. Before I... become...
Pause.
Ben: A freak like me.
Pause. Ben and Doom share a moment, staring into their food. Ben is convinced now. Doom looks up slightly to see Ben's expression and a wicked smile creeps into his face. Then he turns serious again.
Doom: There could be a way Ben... but I'll need your help.

Doom then plays Reed in his depression, and offers him the Von Doom resources to perfect the machine. Reed protests that the power needed is unreplicatable in a safe form. But Doom assures him it can be done, and Reed agrees to help.

[cut] Doom appears as Dr. Doom but does not reveal his name. He performs several crimes to gain items to power his super machine - crystals, diamonds, fuel cells, nuclear material etc. Ben does not get the bad publicity, although Susan and Reed notice him in the corner of a News shot of one of Doom's rampages. [? makes Doom more villianous, but Doom's eventual transformation less climactic - cut]

Reed and Susan figure out that Doom's plan is to reverse the machine on himself, and gain even more power, putting the city at risk. Reed and Susan confront Ben with this information, who is now staying at Doom's mansion. Ben gets angry and demands they leave. On their way out, and beyond Ben's sight. Doom attacks Reed and Susan who flee. They use their powers together in an intimate fashion, Reed wraps his body around Susan to lift them to safety, while she creates a forcefield around them. One-liner: Is that your leg?

Ben is now suspicious and asks Doom, who win's him over again (his face is now half deteriorated, ala Phantom of the Opera).

As the machine nears completion, Reed, Susan and Johnny prepare to stop Doom and attack the mansion. Doom defeats all but Susan in the manner he does in the film.

The machine (now a doomsday weapon) must be larger than in the film, with an upper and lower level instead of 2 modules. The upper module is where the energy phenomenon is created, so that Doom stands above his enemies. The lower is where he directs Ben to stand.

As Ben is about to start the machine, Susan appears and reveals the frozen Reed (locked in a side compartment freezing). Doom beckons Ben to enter the machine, and Ben must choose to save his friends or save himself. Ben turns to destroy the machine, but Doom is faster and knocks him aside, starts the machine and enters.

Johnny reappears through the window, destroys the machine and thaw's out Reed (how cool!). The heroes think they are victorius but Doom's maniacal laughter emerges from the wreckage of the machine. His full face is revealed, now entirely distorted from the machine, he grasps his mask and don's his hood.

Final battle should be twice as long, starting in the building penthouse, knocks Johnny and Susan out the window, fights Ben and Reed (in similar sequence) through the progressive floors of the building till they are all on the street. Instead of an ordinary corner, the battle takes place in Times Square, with more spectators and finishes with the heroes around doom (similar) and their visage's larger than life on the massive tv screen overhead.

I think this script solves the problems above, Ben is left with a real choice as to where his loyalty lies, and importantly does not still have the option at the end of the movie (which he spurns and is ridiculous). Doom has clear motivation, and his thirst for power is more visible and appreciated. Susan and Reed's interaction in their penultimate battle with Doom helps progress the romantic story line too. Johnny has the least charachter development, but he is after all the most two dimensional charachter, but the coolest to offset that ;)